“RAISE UP A CHILD"

Edith V.P. Hudley, Wendy Haight, and Peggy Miller

Chapter 1:  Family

Mother’s father died when she was young, and that is one reason why Mother married as young as she did, ’cause Grandmother remarried. She [Edith’s mother, Mamie] had had three brothers that died—Aaron, Alfred, and Solomon. They was young. And I asked Papa, “What did they die from?” And he said, “Baby, it was hard times,” he says, “and them children just didn’t get enough to eat and develop like they should. And that was what they died from.” Grandma was havin a hard time, and she had a big family when her husband died, and these three kids went behind him. And then she turned around and married again and started havin a family again. And Papa said that man [Grandmother’s second husband] wasn’t doin nothin but goin fishin and killin the rabbits and squirrels and feedin Grandma and those children. [Laughs] Lord have mercy! I hate to laugh about it, but Papa said he was the laziest man! He said, “I went and helped Mama [his mother-in-law] lots of times”—he called her “Mama”—, “I went and helped Mama lots of times with the farmin and everything,” he said. And that’s what caused my mother to want to get out and marry at a young age. Mother was sixteen when she married my dad, and at that day and time, a man had to be twenty-one before they considered him of bein a man to marry. Not like the young kids now, say nineteen and twenty. He was twenty-one and Mama was sixteen. And see, Mama start in havin childrens too young. That’s what cut her life short.

My dad’s family was very close, they was very close. Both Mother and my dad’s side of the family was very close. When one needed, the other was there. I remember some of my dad’s sisters that had growed up before I was born and that was away from home. And if one said, “I need you,” they made it their business for somebody in their family to get to them. I remember several of my dad’s relatives that passed away when they was away from home. And I don’t know why they always got in touch with my [dad]. My dad was one of the main ones that would have to go and see that this is done, or that’s done, or they’d get their body back home.

So, that’s the way they brought their childrens up to, if one was in need, you reach out and you help. Because I remember times when my dad had a sister and she was, I think she was livin in Houston or Conrow. But, at that day and time, that was a long way from home, when you didn’t have no way of gettin around to get there. And, she needed to come home. And the way money was flowin, you had to work—a grown man makin 75 cents a day. And sometimes it was less, dependin on the type of work you’d do.

Well, my dad, he would dig wells, he’d do cisterns and things like that. And if he wasn’t doin that, he was makin railroad ties. My daddy kept himself busy. Somebody needed some wood and most all of the whites had these wood stoves, and my daddy was cuttin wood. He would cut wood for them, or for the stove and the fireplace.

So he would make extra money where other peoples wasn’t makin any money. So, my dad was keepin this little change comin in. But Mother was the best manager. She could manage and handle the money better than my dad. So, when he’d make it, that was to Sweetheart. Sweetheart was home havin babies and raisin a family when he was out from one job to another. He knowed how to do so many things that when he wasn’t doin one, he was doin the other. Sometimes it wasn’t that much, but it was enough to keep the family goin.

But, all in all, the families was tied. When they marry in this family and this family, they was tied. The whole family. If one needed, they all needed. That’s the way they was, and they would go to each other’s rescue. And that’s the way my daddy and my mother brought us up to be.

And, from a child, where I was born—if I could go back and take those pictures—ya’ll would be shocked. I was born in Texas, back in the woods, where my daddy built this house himself. And I can see that house. It was a four-room house with a hall in between. It was two rooms on one side and two on the other. When you come in, you enter into the first room. We called it the big room. It had a fireplace in this room, that was the main sittin room. And it was two beds in that room. Mama’s sewin machine was in that room, chairs. From that room there was a door goin to the kitchen. And in the kitchen was a window that you pushed over—we didn’t have no glass—it was made from these wooden swingin windows.

My daddy made the table. We had a long table. He made this bench on one side that was next to the wall on that side. Then he had a glass window on this side, where the table was, where the bench was along this length of the table. And this end of the table was near a door that went outside in the hall, and then on the other end was another window, but it was a swing window where mother could open and swing back. And her workin table—she had another table that was where she worked—and the stove sit over here in this corner.

My dad was a wonderful dad. He got a fourth grade education. He was his daddy’s oldest son. He was from a large family. My mother’s from a large family. He used to have to stay home and help his dad, but other brothers and sisters was goin to school. He got a fourth grade education, but I want you to know, my daddy could count money fast, and I used to laugh at him. [Laughs] “Two bits, four bits, six bits. Two bits, four bits, six bits,” and he could count in his head faster than I could put it on paper. But, now he couldn’t put it on the paper as fast as I could. But Papa could count anything in his head, faster. Honey, my daddy had it. I said, “Oh, if I had the brains that he had when he was comin up!”

Papa could tell you how many pounds of cotton it was gonna take to make a bale. When they got seeds in it, you know its heavy. All right, you got to go and gin that cotton. He could tell you how many pounds of cotton it gonna take, with the seeds in, to have a bale of cotton with the seeds out. How much it would have to be to weigh so much. He could figure all that out. He was good with his head. Oh my dad was good! A fourth grade education!

And my daddy could tell you things, and he’d say, “Just watch my word!” Now when he’d say, “Watch my word,” I didn’t want Papa to say that! ’Cause whatever he said would come true. It would come true now. Papa said, “Now just watch my word.” And when he’d tell you something, sayin, “Just watch my word. Just watch it. ’Cause it gonna come true.” And I used to ask him, “How do you know this?” He said, “Well,” he say, “if you stay close enough to the Master, he’ll warn you of things.” And I think he had that inner connection there. That he felt things, and he could tell you things. And his sister, he’d go to his sister with the same thing.

I remember one time she came to my dad’s house and she was all upset, and she say—she called him Bud—and she said, “Bud,” she said, “We’re gonna get some bad news.” Papa said, “Sister, don’t say it.” She says, “Yes,” say, “We gonna get some bad news.” Say, “Some of our family is gonna be brought in here.” Papa say, “Sister, don’t say that.” She said, “Bud, I seen it last night, and I’m comin to tell you. We got to get together, ’cause one of our sisters or brothers or somebody is gonna be brought in here.” And, honest to God, it wasn’t long before one of those sisters passed away. Auntie saw it, and came in and told her brother. Said we’ve got to get ready.

I don’t know how they could see all these things! But they had that gift, I guess. Those were the two oldest, her and my dad. My dad was the oldest son, and she was the oldest daughter. And Papa didn’t get the education that the others got because the family was large, and his daddy kept him out of school, helpin him to provide for the family.

But he was the master of a lot of things. There wasn’t nothin that my daddy couldn’t take in hand. And he was a good farmer, he was good. And just like you see these boards that people put—instead of shingles, they got boards—my daddy, he did all of that and built his own house. Every house that I can remember my dad built it. And Mama called him a jack-of-all-trades. (Laughs) She used to tickle me sometimes. She’d get angry about it, “He’s a jack-of-all-trades and good at none.” “Well, Sweetheart”—that was his word—“Sweetheart, why would you want to say that?” Like he done made her angry about somethin and that’s the way she would get back at him.

But my dad was a sweet dad. If I could just bring those two [Father and Mother] back and give them what they deserve! I’d tell Him, I’d say, “Lord, please forgive me for sayin that, but they just went too soon. I didn’t get to give ’em what I could.”